liminal space

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I went to college out of state.

Or moved after I graduated.

Or pursued that job offer in Ohio instead of taking the job I have now.

 

I wonder what would have happened if I had taken different risks.

 

Would I be happy? Would I feel more accomplished in my career? Would I be less concerned about keeping up with friends and family who are getting married and having children?

Would I be married and have children of my own?

 

Most days I'm content with my life. On one hand this gives me great comfort-- I thrive on consistency. I don't do well when things are wishy-washy, so to speak.

But on the other hand, I'm terrified. Terrified of things becoming too routine, too predictable.

 

Recently I've gotten into the podcast My Favorite Murder. I'm obsessed to say the least, but I'm not here to talk about true crime (or, at least not today).

On one episode they discuss the idea of "liminal space." If you have never heard of this concept, it's when you're in a place that's not your tried and true comfort zone, but not yet something else. Not yet a new comfort zone.

It's the space in between.

In between what's known and what's not yet known. It's being able to wait out the storm, and allow the chips to fall. It's knowing when to throw your hands up and let the winds of change play out as they may.

It's attempting to get your feet back on the ground, while everything is up in the air. Or, maybe, it's allowing yourself to float, for just a little while.

 

Over the course of the past few years I can pinpoint moments in my life where I was experiencing liminal space. The time spent creating a life for myself after I asked my boyfriend of five years to move out of our shared home. A year later, when I took a new job in a field I didn't know if I had any business being in.

And these life changes...well, they've all been for the best. They've all worked themselves out, even when I didn't know up from down or left from right. They taught me that not knowing what's next is sometimes for the best.

It allows you to put your trust in something more.

And hell if that isn't a wild feeling.

 

I still think about California, though. Something tells me I'll end up there eventually.

 

You can read a great article on liminal space here.

stream of consciousness: it's my pms talking

I can't stop thinking about peanut butter M&Ms. I know it's because I'm pre-menstrual , but you'd think after 19 years of being A Woman™ I would have more self control over this type of thing. Guess not.

In other news, I've been snacking on pita chips since 9:30 this morning.

 

Guys, I went to bed at 7pm on Saturday night and it's easily the best decision I've ever made.

I saw one of my aunts over the weekend who is known in my family for her cutting remarks. She looked at me and said,"Oh? You look nice!" as if I usually leave the house wearing a garbage bag.

 

Anyone watching the new season of House of Cards?

Anyone listen to the My Favorite Murder Podcast?

 

Here's a short list of things I wish I had in my possession right now: an entire pizza, Harry Styles. End of list.

Sometimes I want to cry just thinking about the fact that I've never had In-N-Out.

 

I realized yesterday that I have not made tacos since Cinco de Mayo. THAT'S CRIMINAL. How bad is it if I go to spin tonight and then go home and make tacos?

Don't @ me if you think I shouldn't do that.

 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have peanut butter M&Ms to buy.

f a v o r i t e s (p. 2)

In the fall of 2015, I went to the MAC counter at Macy's and said, "I don't care how much it costs, I need all new makeup. " To the tune of $200, I got what I asked for.

Since then, I've been trying to find less expensive products that are comparable. But mostly, I've just been trying to find makeup I can buy at Target since I spend 3 out of my 5 lunch breaks there every week.

Here's what I found:

  1. NYX Total Control Drop Foundation | $13.99 @ Target: I watched one and a half YouTube tutorials before deciding this was going to be the foundation I tried. I'm lol'ing thinking about the girls in the video who used 3-4 drops for "full coverage" while I have to use, like, 10. I have heavy red undertones (? is that a thing?). But overall, I really like this. It's light and it lasts all day. I use the color "porcelain" because I am a literal ghost.
     
  2. NYX #Nofilter Finishing Powder | $11.99 @ Target: I've had a hard time finding a finishing powder that I like as much as the one I got from MAC. Is it just me (and my dry skin) or do powders leave your face looking cracked AF? I look fine when I leave the house in the morning, but by high noon, my face looks like this. SAD! But this powder does the trick-- and I shamefully picked it up because of the hashtag no filter name. What do you expect from me? I'm a millennial-- we're terrible humans, didn't you know?
     
  3. NYX Epic Ink Eyeliner | $7.99 @ Target: A few months ago I stopped wearing eyeliner on my bottom waterline. A few weeks ago I stopped wearing eye shadow. I'd like to say it's because I want to take better care of my skin and not be so ~bogged down~ with product, but really it's because I'm lazy and don't feel like taking the extra 5 minutes to do a full face of makeup. I like this eyeliner when I want a matte finish.
     
  4. NYX Vinyl Liquid Eyeliner | $6.99 @ Target: TBH, I first picked this up because it has "vinyl" in the name and I'm a sucker for records. It has a shiny finish, which is fun for when I go out but questionable when I'm at work. It does tend to crack a little by the end of the day, but that could be user error on my part.
     

So, yes, everything is by NYX and from Target. Not sponsored, but wish.

Do you have any drug store faves? Let a girl know.

 

favorites (p. 1) can found here.

 

P.S. This is the last time (this week) that I'll ask you to subscribe to notifications! (scroll down to find the sign up box) You'll not only be alerted when a new post goes live here, you'll also receive some off the record posts from me-- posts that dive a bit deeper.

And in the future, I'm hoping to use this as an opportunity for all of us to interact. So it's not just me barking @ you re: my questionable beauty routines and even more questionable ex-boyfriends.