Catching up with RHOBH - Part One

I know, I know. I promised to write about the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I'm sorry, forgive? Since I've missed a few episodes, I broke up the recap into two parts. Here's part one, enjoy!

Let's talk about Kim first. She's amazing, isn't she? Just in case humping a seat on a private jet wasn't enough, she decided to talk her way through what might have been the last game the Kings ever play in Sacramento. SN: Did the Kings end up moving? Actually, don't bother answering that, I don't give a fack. I thought Adrienne was going to punch her in the face. I'm sure Paul would have appreciated it since he could have charged Kim big bucks to fix it and then Kim would've had another reason to abuse prescription drugs! It's a win-win.

This scene was just ridiculous.

Anyway, the real deal was at Dana's, or Pam's, game night. I love that Kim rolled in with a drink from the McCafe. Let's be honest, no one really believes that Kim is completely sober. Just because Kyle took a sip of Kim's McCocktail and said it was fine, doesn't negate the fact that Kim probably used it to wash down some pills beforehand.

She's high, not drunk, alright?

I don't want to spend too much time talking about Dana since she's not a real, Real Housewife, but I have to mention how annoying I find her. I don't care how much your sunglasses cost or who made your shorts, shut up. That's all.

Who are you and what are you doing on my television?

Kyle being a bitch to Newbie (I honestly didn't even bother learning her name) is amazing. I don't know where all of the anger is coming from, but I'm not hating it. The comments made at the charity event were my favorite. Actually, the shot of Newbie sitting alone, with all of the girls in the background, obviously talking about her, was really my favorite.

Taylor tried...

...but ended up talking shit with Kyle anyway.

A small part of me thought, "You're all grown women, most of you have young daughters, and this is the example you're going to set for them?" while a bigger part of me thought, "You girls are right, who the eff busts their ankle wearing heels, then shows up with crutches, a cast, and a 6 inch stiletto on the other foot?" Sluts, that's who. Speaking of sluts...

"Did she just say cock?"

Stay tuned for part two when we catch up with Lisa, Taylor, and probably not Camille. Where the hell has she been?