RHOBH Recap!

The main focus on this week's episode was Pandora's lavish engagement party, but before we get to that I have a few things I'd like to mention...

Seeing Kyle's mother-in-law post op reminded me a lot of this but in fact, that's not what frightened me the most. Did Paul really call Mark Wahlberg and leave him a voicemail while he was mid-surgery? Was the entire surgical staff laughing because that one guy really did look like Marky Mark - at least from the eyes up? Was Paul really discussing setting Kim up with Marky Love Eyes while he was sewing Mauricio's mother's face?

If she only knew what he would be doing in the OR. Photo Cred.
Yes. Yes, to all of those questions. I wonder who my doctor called while I was having my MRI done. I'd like to think Jake Gyllenhaal or Gerard Butler. But in reality, he was probably just calling in his to-go order at The Outback.

Russell Armstrong also made his first appearance of the season. Before I get into that dinner conversation, I want to bring up the one thing everyone was thinking, but no one wants to say.

Poor Kennedy.

Not because Taylor's lips are eating her face or because Russell took the easy way out, but because she will never be as cute as Portia. Are you with me? Portia will be America's Next Top Model cycle 159. You know it and I know it, too. I mean, she's already done the "NOH8" campaign and she just started wearing real underwear.

Smile with your eyes! Photo Cred.
And how uncomfortable was that dinner? Between Kyle and Mauricio being too cute for words, making Russell and Taylor look like Bill and Hillary Clinton, and then the topic of conversation? Kyle's right. Everyone in town (cause I live in BH, ya know) knows their business, so anyone could have leaked the story. Besides, 'tis true.

I want to be a third wheel in this marriage. Photo Cred.
Pandora and Jason's engagement party was ridiculous, no? Call me crazy but I'm okay with a backyard BBQ and a keg. Can you imagine having that "type" of friends? And by that "type" of friends, I mean  Bruce Jenner's twin sisters, Mohammad and Martin. And by sisters I mean they all look like old lesbians. I think you needed to be cracked out of your mind to be asked to work at that party. Between Dave Navarro (good call, Kyle) and that effing mermaid, I was surprised Kim was a no show! They seem like her kind of crazy people. (SN: Doesn't it seem like Kim is ALWAYS moving?)

This takes the place of Kim's crazy photo of the week. Photo Cred.
Speaking of Kim, I understand why they didn't show her new beau in any of the previews. He looks a little something like this...

You know it's true. Photo Cred.
Stay tuned for next week's recap ...and a guest post!