Rules to Live By: Sex doesn't complicate things, Facebook does.

Photo Cred.

Can anyone remember what the world was like before Facebook? Even Myspace?

It's amazing what you can find out about a person by just being friends with them on Facebook. Whether it's a friend or a love interest, FB has really stepped up the stalking game when it comes to getting to know someone.

How many people are still friends with their ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend for stalking purposes only? I'm not, FYI.  Instead of mourning a break up in private, with the help and support from your closest friends, you now have people "liking" that you went from "in a relationship" to "single" it even okay to like that? My guess is most people that do a Facebook aka public break up, want the attention for it. Which is a whole different issue in my book.

Fact: If you change your relationship status and don't want people to know, simply go to your profile and delete the relationship status update. Taking it off your page means it won't show up in other people's feeds. You're welcome.

Having a few drinks and playing therapist is my new hobby. Photo Cred.

Some people use Facebook messages to communicate instead of emails. Say you're talking to someone privately, haven't heard back from them but see that they updated their status. Is it time to freak out? Do you count the minutes before they send you a response, and if they don't, how are you supposed to move forward with the pseudo relationship? Drew Barrymore said it best in "He's Just Not That Into You" when she said:

"I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he e-mailed me to my Blackberry and so I texted to his cell and then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control. And I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn't. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting."

Who hasn't sat in front of their cell phone, willing it to do SOMETHING. Incoming text/email/phone call/FB message/tweet. A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G. It turns your brain to mush. Sane people are calling their cell phones from their landlines to ensure that their phone is still working. I've done it.

Don't judge. We've all been there. Photo Cred.

And when your phone does go off, and it's just one of your friends saying they can't find anything good to watch on TV, how freakin pissed are you? Livid, I bet.

Nothing is worse than seeing someone update their status "via mobile" when they haven't answered your text message in hours.

So the, "He might have dropped his phone in water and is desperately trying to find a back up phone to use so he can respond to my last text message" theory goes out the window.

And how dare you double text. Double texting makes you look desperate, right? Desperate to WHO, is my question. You or the other person?

The two worst parts about meeting someone new: waiting to hear from them and not knowing what they're thinking. Facebook makes that 100 times worse.

He put up a depressing status ...I wonder what that means.
He just checked in at a bar... probably getting drunk and flirting with other women.
Some girl commented on his status ...they are probably hooking up.
He was tagged in a photo with another girl... they are probably dating.
But the girl in the picture is different from the one that commented on his status...
Is he seeing multiple girls?
Am I just another one of those girls?

See what I mean? Downward. Spiral.

In middle school, I triple checked my AIM for messages. In high school, I triple checked my pager/my cell phone for messages. In college, I triple checked my cell phone/Myspace/Facebook for messages. 

What could possibly be next?

Please do not say because that's never happening, mmmkay?

Another quote from He's Just Not That Into You (great movie, even better book) says it all:

"Things have changed. People don't meet each other organically anymore. If I want to seem attractive to the opposite sex, I wouldn't go get a new haircut, I'd update my profile, it's just the way it is."

Personally, I hate the way it is.