RHOBH Recap!

I finally watched this week's episode last night. My week has been kind of hectic, but I will fill you in on that next time! For now, let's focus on these crazy bitches from BH.

Is it just me or does Brandi's hair always look dirty? I feel like that woman needs to take a shower and get her shit together. Maybe she's just heavy on the dry shampoo? I don't know, but it ain't right. She was also channeling Taylor Swift in this scene. Sorry, Brandi, your ex-husband left you for LeAnn Rimes, not Taylor, remember? That hairstyle isn't going to win him back.

I wonder what Adrienne is drinking...looks delish.

I would like to comment quickly on Kyle's Cindo de Mayo party and how jealous I was of it. I love Mexican food, I'm not going to lie. Actually, Sam and I love it so much that we have a fiesta in January AND in May because once a year is just not enough!

Did anyone else catch Paul's "Yo Adrienne!" in this scene? I about died.

And how dare he talk shit about Jackpot.

I'm going to skip all the boring shit and go directly to Brandi's party. There's no doubt in my mind that Taylor was drunk by the time she got out of the limo.

#whitegirlwasted

Apparently she's all talk and no "I'm about to go Oklahoma on your ass!" action because she walked right in and gave Camille the most awkward hug imaginable. My skin was crawling!

Why I don't let people hug me - Exhibit A

The party continues with some belly dancing, no bras, and Kyle dropping down so fast to do a split that it actually hurt my crotch to watch. That was just insane. I give Brandi some props though for the, "That's why she's married!" comment and for telling everyone how gorgeous Marucio is. Good thing Kyle doesn't read this blog or she'd probably kill me with those kitty claws.

"Ouch" - my vajj.

Now let's talk about the fight between D.D. and Taylor. As you know, Taylor is not my favorite, but I have to honestly say I did not think it was right for D.D. to get involved. Camille (love her!) is hell bent on taking the high road, so for D.D. to turn around and cause a scene seemed like a shitty friend move to me.

I wonder how much Bravo paid her to start shit.

And then Taylor LOST it. That bitch had crazy written all over her face. And in the middle of all the screaming, pushing, and finger pointing, there's some COMPLETELY RANDOM woman that says, "Let's enjoy the ocean. This ocean will be here long after we're gone."

Ya gotta be fuckin kidding me.

Followed by a comment about us being an "evolved species" ...I'm not sure what she's smoking, but I'd like to try some of that. I need to calm down these days.

But in the end, it was Taylor's smoking habit that was the big shock for me. These women can fight all they want, but when Taylor asks for a lighter because she needs a cigarette, my jaw dropped.

Anyone else shocked by Taylor's pack-a-day habit?

Stay tuned for next week!