RHOBH Recap!

Look at me go! Not only did I watch RHOBH last night, I'm already recapin' it! Aren't you proud?
(Just say yes)

Anywho, let's get right down to business. This week we start the episode off with Paul and Adrienne actually having a civilized conversation (yay!) and although the topic was serious, I couldn't help but focus on the ice in Paul's glass. Did anyone else notice it? I'm convinced it was plastic ice that typically comes in the shape of lime wedges or starfish. Y'all know what I'm talking about?

Usually his lips drive me crazy. Last night, the ice did.

So, Russell wants to sue Camille. eh? She said some things about his marriage that he claims aren't true, so he's just going to slap her with a lawsuit, it's really quite simple, right? Right? Isn't that what he said about Lisa, too? Russell is starting to appear to be the Boy Who Cried Wolf: Lawsuit Edition.

 I really do not care about Pandora's wedding, or weddings in general, to be honest. I hate how there is a segment in each episode that focuses on her and her douchey boyfriend. I seriously did not pay attention to a second from the scene below, so if something important happened, please leave a comment. Other than that, I'm moving on...


Please, please, please tell me I'm not the only one that picked up on Kim's daughter, Kimberly (still think that's so stupid), making a comment about how she popped two NyQuil and then fell asleep in the shower the next morning. I smell an addition brewing, along with a stint in rehab. Like mother, like daughter, I guess. And that promise ring bullshit? #lesbehonest

Shouldn't this daughter be "Kimberly" since she's older ...isn't that how that naming-your-child-after-yourself thing works?

So the day of the White Party finally arrives and Kyle is convinced by Adrienne and Lisa that she will have to turn away Taylor and Russell. She feels conflicted and although there are many scenes where she appears to be crying, I'm not sure if I ever saw one single tear. I'm pretty sure 60% of the episode was focused on Kyle talking about having to tell her friend she's no longer invited to her party, and then pretending to cry over it.

Despite Kim telling pretty much everyone that Brandi needs to stay away from her, she finds herself (or did she walk over there on her on accord?) face to shoulders with Brandi. Brandi seems to be trying to take the high road, saying that everyone was a little bitchy at game night. Kim immediately gets defensive because she thinks Brandi is calling her a bitch. I said out loud, by myself, "She didn't call you a bitch, she said you were acting bitchy! God! There's a fucking difference!"

But wait a minute, Alissa. Don't say "fuck" because that isn't pretty. Well, if you follow me on Twitter, you already know what I thought wasn't pretty...

Kim's choker and leather neck.

I loved when Brandi said fuck about 25 times. I'm all for it.

Hey Brandi! Put on a fucking bra!

Meanwhile, Kyle and Lisa are still deciding what to do about Taylor.

(cue elevator music)

I love how everyone ran out of the house like it was on fire as soon as Taylor and Russell showed up. Even Mauricio, Paul, and Ken came out to confont them. I can't stand Russell's facial expressions because I can never tell if he's being serious or not. And Taylor? Could those earrings be any worse?

PETA is probably pissed.

Her passive-agressive "Enjoy your party!" comments annoyed the fuck out of me. Do I think she read the email Russell sent out? I have no fucking clue, but there's no way Kyle is going to be able to enjoy her party now, you fuck tard.

Sorry for all the f words, Brandi made me do it.

Stay tuned for next week! A trip to Hawaii for Mauricio's birthday = him in a bathing suit. Yum.