"I love buttons" aka Kim's high aka RHOBH Recap!

Andy Cohen was not kidding when he tweeted that last night's episode could have been the finale.  Actually, it probably was the finale, but then Pandy got engaged and Russell decided to off himself. I'm brainstorming ways to make next week worth watching. I can't think of anything that doesn't involve alcohol, but I'm working on it. I'll keep you updated!

This week's episode focuses on the opening of Lisa and Ken's addition to their restaurant, Sur. I've mentioned before how I would love to go to Sur, but I guess my invite to the opening got lost in the mail. I'll forgive Lisa, though, because watching her push Ken away made me laugh hysterically. This is exactly how I react when someone tries to touch me.


Kim and her gay mastiff boyfriend decided to get a hotel room closer to the party instead of one of them having to drive back to their house that night. I'm convinced they moved into this hotel room together. Did you see all of their shit laying around? I obviously have to talk about the vibrator that she thought was lipstick. Where does she buy her cosmetics? I've never been in Sephora, or any store for that matter, where lipstick and vibrators are even remotely close to each other. Actually, I can't think of the last time I picked out a new lip shade in a store that also sold vibrators. Talk about one-stop-shopping.

Brandi insisting on not wearing a bra is really getting on my last nerve. After seeing her in that red dress, I can't help but think she doesn't have nipples. How were they NOT exposed? I almost felt bad for her when she noticed that one of the waitresses was the same girl that effed her ex-husband while they were still married. #Awkward.

Not as awkward as Cedric showing up! That was muy ballsy on his part, if you ask me. I couldn't really focus on what they we were talking about, though, because I was fascinated by Pandora's demonic expression. I swear they based The Devil Inside on her. See for yourself.

The following pictures need no explanation and should be used in Kim's Intervention episode:

And #lesbehonest Kim, you're not pregnant. Either you're going through menopause or you dropped so much weight from all of the drug use, that you stopped getting your period. Duh.

We end the episode with all of the girls talking to Taylor for the first time since she announced her divorce. Well, all of the girls besides Kim. She was too busy blowing lines in the bathroom. Just a guess!

Taylor's date to the party is questionable. Can you imagine bringing your therapist to a party? That's such a buzzkill.  If I was any of the other girls, I would be pissed that I had to talk about Taylor's feelings while I drowning my misery in alcohol, in an attempt not to feel anything at all.

I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty excited for this season to be over with. I'm looking forward to RHOC, which I will NOT be recappin' on a weekly basis, but I will be sure to do some highlights.