Rules to Live By: The Dos and Don'ts of Texting


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I recently came across this article on msn.com. I will give you a minute to read it.

Done?

Okay...let's get real here, people. Texting, like Facebook, has completely changed the rules of dating. Men and women no longer verbally communicate with each other like they used to, and while I agree that there should be some type of "text etiquette" that we follow, these suggestions are FAR from proper. I'm going to break down each scenario and tell you why you would not be my friend if you were dumb enough to send any of these texts to a guy.


The "full-on" drinks and dinner combo.
 "Thanks again for a fun dinner last night! I’m still cracking up about your freshman fraternity formal story."

I won't get started on why I think going out to dinner on the first date is stupid, but I will tell you this much - if you ever send a guy a text that says ANYTHING about how funny his fraternity stories are, I'm going to slap you. So maybe something funny did happen at his freshman fraternity formal, but my guess is he gave you the PG version. He probably left out the part where he had a threesome, so let's never mention his frat days again, okay?


He takes you to a football game.
"Had a blast at the game. Still can’t believe the Saints are 7-3 for the season. Next time, beer and hot dogs are on me."

Most girls would not even send the guy a text because they would be so pissed off he took them to a football game on a date. I, however, would love it, but would never send him a text commenting about the team's record for the season. First of all, he knows you Googled that statistic. Secondly, do you want him to think of you as one of his buddies? But the third, and most important, pointer in this case is - do not, under any circumstances, offer to pay for something on your next date. He can pay in the beginning...save your $10 for "debriefing drinks" with your bestie.


You met at a holiday party and made out.
"What I remember from last night: Eggnog, mistletoe, and you being a great kisser, in that order."

THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DATE. There's no need to send anyone a text after a rando make out session. Why do you have his phone number, anyway? Don't chase someone you sucked face with at a holiday party (or any party), especially if it's a COMPANY holiday party. Chalk it up to the spiked eggnog and call it a day. It's great that you remember everything, in the order that it happened, but don't be alarmed when he responds with, "Who is this?" because he doesn't remember jack shit about the night before. Do not contact him, but feel free to make out with him if you ever see him again.


Drinks after work with a co-worker.
Two-for-one drink special + fabulous company = awesome night. Must do it again soon.

This is the only scenario they mention that I think is worth discussing. You have a flirtationship with a guy at work and when he finally works up the nerve to ask you to have drinks after, that's a pretty exciting feeling. This can easily be ruined by a stupid text, like the one you see above. You + two-for-one-drinks + a dumb, drunk text like that  = You + your vibrator + Friday night. Need I say more? If you have drinks with a crush from work, you're going to see him the next day, so don't bother texting him.


He invited you to hang out with him and his friends for the afternoon.
"Rob’s dinner was a blast – your friends are hilarious, just like you."

Don't hang out with him and his friends, especially during the day. Let him spend time with his buddies all afternoon and tell him to give you a call when the street lights go on and he wants to play.