Friday's Letters

circa 2006 #domesticdrunk

Dear New Followers,

Thanks for not running in the opposite direction after reading my blog. I know it seems like I'm an alcoholic, but let's get one thing straight - I'm a functional alcoholic. There's a difference. In all seriousness, thank you - because I'm really just an asshole, and I'm surprised anyone is paying attention to me.

I think all the cool kids do a giveaway when they reach 100 followers, so I'm going to do the same once I get there. Check back next week to see what I'll be giving away. I might just put myself in a box and show up on your doorstep. I mean, you've see where I live - could you really blame me?

Dear Allergies,

Can you give me a break, please? I have no idea how I'm awake on a daily basis considering how many drugs I have in my system. Allegra, Sudafed, and Tylenol - and I STILL have a headache/sinus pressure. Hm, maybe I do have a tumor after all.

Dear North Carolina,

Me and you, kid...56 days. Let's do this.