Pray for me if anyone finds out I wrote this...




So, I was trollin through Facebook, seeing what kind of bullshit my "friends" are up to, when I came across the link for this website.

YOU GUYS...this is my hometown.

And by hometown, I mean, the town I love to make fun of. The town everyone makes fun of, but rarely leaves. 

This website was started by some guys that graduated the year behind me. I know who they are because everyone fuckin knows everyone in Mechanicville. I think I graduated with 85 or so people? I'm going to guess 48% of us went to college, and out of that 48%, half actually graduated.

What's that, Beyonce? Raise your glass for the college grads?

Actually, it's the ones who didn't graduate that spend their weekends at The End Zone getting bombed, chasing tail and passing out on the bar. In all fairness, I frequented the townie bar circuit, but that was when I underage and still talked to some of the fools I went to school with.

You see, I don't live right in town (the actual city is one-square mile small big). It's more like a valley; I live on one hill and my brother and sister-in-law live on the other. Needless to say, I mad dash-it to their house. I drive through town with my sunglasses on, windows rolled up tight, eyes straight ahead.

I'm planning on getting a new car this fall, and you can bet your ass I will be tinting all of the windows.

Let's talk about how brutal it is to go to the market. I literally drive out of my way to go to a different market so I don't have to see anyone I know. I purposely inconvenience myself so that I don't have to make small talk with these people. That's what my life has come to.

Am I the only one who grew up in a small town like this? 
Does anyone want to come visit to see what it's really like?

No, I didn't think so.