RHONJ Recap: Episode 7

I'm going to spend as much time recapping this episode as Bravo did producing it...


Annnnnd scene.


Seriously? 75% of this episode revolved around the wedding, which was nice, but nothing I care too much about. Out of that 75%, half was spent in a limo, driving from place to place. 

If there is going to be a boring episode that makes me want to fall asleep, do NOT use closed captioning the whole time. Usually, if I'm bored, I just close my eyes and listen, but I couldn't even do that! It was awful. I was hitting my sun burn to stay awake.

Oh, and that other 25% was spent in Jersey - ya know, where the show is supposed to be taking place.

I wish I was invited to this party.

I will, however, say THANK YOU for showing Chris Laurita so much. Yum.

Would you just look at him? Sigh...

I honestly don't even know what to talk about! Should we be shocked that Teresa is selling her story to tabloids? Nope. And let's not forget that this part of the show was filmed a YEAR ago.  Old news, Bravo.

WHAT is that tattoo all about?

 Okay, back to Chris.

I hate when guys where pink, but he can wear anything. Preferably nothing at all.

Caroline's speech at the wedding annoyed me. I really do not know what she said, because I was too distracted by her hands hitting the podium every 10 seconds. It was like, "I'm so proud...smack...of how far you've come...smack...and I wish you all the best...smack...." Did anyone else notice that?

Her and Clay Aiken must be in the running for "Who Looks the Most Like Chucky?"

 Let's go back to New Jersey for a second and ask ourselves how this kid got invited to the Gorga's party...


#photobomb

My hatred for Lauren is becoming more than I can handle. Every time she's in a segment, I say, "Oh fucking Christ, here we go again!" because you know she's going to be complaining about something. Just when I thought she couldn't look any worse, she puts this thing on her head:

How does she have friends?

Luckily, next week looks like it's going to be a good one, so I won't give up on these bitches yet.

One more for the road...

Caroline Manzo, Chris Laurita, Jamie Laurita, Lauren Manzo, Rich Lane
Laters, baby.