RHONJ Recap: Episode 9

A minute into the show last night, two things happened:

Chris Laurita was on the screen.
I needed new underwear.

Not the best picture, but I'll take it. Or "I'm going to take you now." - Christian Grey.

OH, Lauren also complained, but that is to be expected at this point. Let's take a minute to thank Andy Cohen for NOT including anything about Lauren's "weight loss battle" in last night's episode.

 Thank you, Annnnnddyyyy.

Just in case I didn't think he was a moron before, Joe's advice to Teresa about her fight with Jacqueline and Caroline proved just how dumb he really is. Actually, in all fairness, his response to their fight is a very typical Italian man response. So, I guess I can't blame him for that. But I can blame him for that shirt.

Teresa may be more jacked than he is.

Speaking of shirts, how appropriate for Kathy to be gardening in an Italia shirt. 

I love her.

I can't even make fun of Melissa putting on make up for a phone interview with Ryan Seacrest. Here is why: I have read in a few different articles that if you have a phone interview (for your new song OR for just a regular old job) you should be dressed like you would for an actual interview. Okay, not in a full on suit, but at least put together. Apparently, it makes you feel better and your project that in your voice.

Or you just look like an idiot.

 I think it was pretty obvious what Teresa was trying to do by reaching out to Kathy, and then agreeing to go see a therapist with her brother, Joe. Classic move. She had no interested in being nice to Kathy or Melissa, and she definitely did NOT want to go to therapy with her brother until she realized Jacqueline and Caroline were not on her side anymore.

This is his, 'Oh fuck...we really have to go to therapy?" face.

 And if it wasn't obvious, then you're dumb she made it PERFECTLY CLEAR when she let Melissa immediately off the hook for contacting Danielle two years ago. Do we all remember what happened when Danielle asked Teresa at the season 2 reunion if she acknowledged her nephew?

It was #1 on the top 20 Reunion Moments Countdown.
This is what happened: Danielle asked Teresa if she acknowledged the birth of her nephew. Teresa flipped out and tossed Andy Cohen out of the way when he tried to stop her from getting in Danielle's face. 

Turns out, it was Melissa who contacted Danielle and told her that Teresa never congratulated her and Joe on the birth of their son. In last night's episode, Melissa apologizes and blamed it on her hormones (I effing hate when pregnant women blame shit on their hormones) and Teresa immediately accepted her apology.

Why? Because...

Mean Girls by Bravo.
...these two turned their backs on her. Now Teresa has interest in her family, because she has no one else.

Let's fuck face it, this is what we've been waiting for and I don't know about you, but I'm pretty damn excited to see what happens with the rest of the season. The therapy session next week looks great.

Tell me your thoughts!