You asked for it...

I can't believe I'm going to subject you to this.

I call him a Gorilla Juice Head, but his name is Chris. I'll refer to him as that from now on because I secretly get annoyed when girls refer to their boyfriends/fiances/husbands as "C." or "Hubz" or anything like that.

We went to the same high school; he was a grade ahead of me. It's a small school (and a small town), so I knew who he was, but never spoke to him. That's basically because he was rarely there. 

He was a slacker, jock, class clown, you name it. 
I was a straight up nerd.

I missed one day of high school. It was September of my freshman year and I left on a Friday to go with my mom, aunt, cousin, and grandmother to Maine for my grandmother's birthday. Other than that, I was present and accounted for for four years. I should have won some kind of award.

I digress.

So fast forward 4 years and we are at a party. He insists we take this picture:

Then I decided to leave to go to a bar with some friends. Chris asked my brother PJ if I was seeing anyone. My brother said, "Yes. Actually, he's older than I am."  He was much older. That did not last long. 

Moving on.

I have talked about my friend before, the one who passed away on Cinco de Mayo. Well, he was Chris' cousin. See, I told you we live in a small town! It was a rough time for everyone. After the funeral, we went back to the family's house, then we started bar hopping. 

At the second bar, he made his move. And by that, I mean, he slurred, "We should hang out sometime." Real romantic. I mean, swept me right off my feet. So I replied with, "If you can remember this conversation tomorrow morning, we can hang out."

He claims I texted him first the next day, although I can't remember and highly doubt I did. I was in his phone was "Akerjxpo" or something of the sort. He was that drunk, but inside felt like this:

"I crashed a funeral today..."

 I'm not sure how many days passed before we hung out, but we planned on going to the movies. I told him he could choose. He chose Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay. Needless to say, that was the first and last time I allowed him to pick the movie.

However, I did get some payback when I made him watch P.S. I love you a few days later.

I will continue our "love story" in another post. I think I made your ears bleed enough for one day.