I'm back, mother fuggers.

Aww, did you miss me?

Stop. Stop. I missed you, too!

Well, I'm not going to bore you with vacation post after vacation post. Guys, I went to freakin North Carolina, not the South of France - okay? I'm going to do a weekly photo dump/recap like I normally do.

Side note: "photo dump" gives me the best mental image. ever.

People taking dumps of pictures, what is better than that?

About to take off!

Don't be fooled by our smiles, we were scared shitless.

Actually, we had a pretty good buzz going, so it wasn't too bad.

Our plane was delayed (way to go, US Airways) so they didn't have time to stock the fridge aka all they had was Bud. Not even Bud Light.

We did what we had to do.

I didn't want to lose my buzz.

Look at this lesbian stalker. 

I seriously cannot get away from him.

Saturday started with a little of this and quite possibly the most gay-tastic waiter ever.

Loved him.

And this. This was good.

We spent the rest of the day out on Lake Norman. Has anyone ever been there? All of the houses around the lake are gorgeous.

We went here Saturday night for dinner - ever hear of it? First time for me.

This was a milkshake, that was more like a flurry, but they call it a milkshake, but you can't use a straw, you have to use a spoon.

 So, really, it's a fuckin flurry.

We spent the last night in the burbs having a few drinks that were NOT beer.

This was good, but nothing compared to a Blue Moon or CL Smooth.

Sunday morning meant wrestling.

The little dog is named Tank, and the big dog is named Tiny.

I love the irony. Love it.

Sunday afternoon we went to this US Olympic training center, that has white water rafting, along with other things.

But I'm not going to show you a picture of that. I'm going to show you the fried pickles we ate. Since we didn't go white water rafting, or do any of the other things.

In all fairness, we were going to zip line, but a thunder storm shut that down.

 Finally, Sunday night, we were in Charlotte. We stayed at a very chic hotel right in downtown, which is called uptown.


I would totally live in this hotel.

I can't talk about Monday here. That deserves its own post.

Tuesday, for the most part, was spent in the airport.

Before we took off, we made sure to get another order of fried pickles.


There were no lesbians sightings on the way back. There was, however, a 2 year old girl sitting behind me, with a crunchy, granola mother who didn't believe in discipline.

After she ate some sort of cheese puff, she proceeded to put her hands all over my shoulders, and then my head.

So, I snapped. I turned around, and told her to stop. Then I put my sunglasses on and prayed she would leave me alone. Or choke on a cheese puff.

Either one.

Thanks to everyone that guest posted for me while I was gone! The rest of the posts will be up while I'm having my lazy eye (hopefully) fixed.