Outfit of the who gives a shit?

Ladies, ask me how much I care about what you wore yesterday. Go ahead, ask.

I wear black every single day. It makes doing laundry suuuuuper easy. It also makes me look like a tough guy, which I obviously am. Despite not giving a shit about fashion, I tend to shop a lot. I really do love a good purse and I love boots in the fall/winter. And scarves. Don't even get me started about scarves.

But there are some styles that I will NEVER understand. Here we go:

Skirts over pants.

You fancy, huh?

I'm sorry, but you look stupid. You also look like you got dressed when you were drunk, and you put a skirt on over your pants, without realizing it. I hate you. Unless you are Juno, in which case, you're amazing.

Boots with pants & leg warmers.

Love the boots, though. Won't lie.

Do you live in Alaska? Visiting Antarctica? Dressing for an 80s party? If you answered no to any of these questions, then take off your leg warmers and dress like a normal human being. I rebelled against tucking my jeans into my boots for a LONG time. I even rocked Tuggs (Ugg-like boots from Target) for years until I realized I was spending the same amount of money each winter on 5 pair of Tuggs, when I could just buy 1 pair of real Uggs that would last me an entire season.

But I'm getting off topic. Leg warmers are not cool. And neither are you if you wear them.


Stressed because it's a jean shirt.

Go ahead fashion bloggers, shoot me, but your chambray shirt looks like a JEAN SHIRT. Okay, Denim Dan? Maybe IRL it looks amazeballs, but on your blog, you look like you're trying to make jean shirts happen. Guess what, Gretchen Weiners? Jean shirts are never going to happen.

Color Blocking.

This is color blind, not color blocking.

Someone in the fashion industry made this term up so you could feel better about not wearing matching clothing. Remember when strolling into work with green pants and an orange shirt meant it was Halloween? Or, at the very least, you didn't do laundry for 3 weeks? Now, it's fashion. You trolls are crazy.

Look up.

Okay, phew. Just checking.

This has nothing to do with your outfit, and everything to do with the pictures of your outfit. Stop. Staring. At. Your. Feet. They are still there. And I can't help but think that if they weren't, you wouldn't be standing.

So what does a clothes hater snob like me wear? Who do I get insirpiation from?

I also like her bitch boy in the background.

Ms. Kate Beckinsale. All black. Great boots. Great purse. Amazing sunglasses. Hair up.
My kind of girl.

Happy weekend! Can't wait to read all about your weekend outfits on Monday!