Stream of Consciousness: Part Six

1a. Over the weekend, while decking it with Tiff and Kelsey, I learned how OJ Simpson ended up in jail. Don't ask me why I didn't know this before - but he was arrested for trying to steal *his own* sports memorabilia, that he claims was stolen from him. I CAN'T BREATHEEEE. He gets away with murder, but ends up in jail for that? That will never not be funny. EVER.

1b. "Then who the hell did it?" - my 4th grade teacher when OJ was acquitted of murder.

1c. "Ohhh, she just said hell." - me, to my 4th grade self.

2a. Can we stop saying things like, "Because summer." or "Because weekend." and start forming entire sentences again? I'm sure I've been guilty of this on occasion, but let's be honest, it was probably a typo.

2b. Long live hashtags.

3. So many summer concerts! The Avett Brothers (3 - count em - 3 more times!), Justin Timberlake, and Katy Perry. Oh, and Journey and Steve Miller Band. I think that's it ...for now.

4. Speaking of music, I broke out my Middle of Nowhere (Hanson's debut album, circa 1997)  (yes, it's my original copy) a couple weeks ago and I'm not ashamed to blast it in my car with the windows down. This song? Excuse me while I listen to on repeat.

5. Two words: bar carts. What the fuck, man? Unless you're going to use that to literally cart around beer behind me at a party, I don't see the point of it. Stop it, Pinterest, just stop it. And how are the drinks staying cold? They aren't. I use this really fancy thing that keeps my beers cold, and it has wheels, and I can also use it as a seat, or a foot rest - and it's called a cooler. No, it doesn't look pretty in my living room, but neither does your cluttered cart covered in warm drinks.

6. I have zero control over my emotions when I'm ovulating (which I am - right this very second). So cut to me listening to, "A Father's First Spring" in my office yesterday morning, and I find myself in tears. Not, "Oh, I'm tearing up, lemme change the song real quick before things get ugly." No. Things got ugly. Scott Avett wrote the song about his daughter, and I'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded and seeped out through my eye sockets. Too graphic? Well, so is your child's birth story.

7. I think about Rob Kardashian a lot. He's such a little bitch, isn't he?

8. What are your thoughts about the American Blogger trailer slash film in general? I'm not going to knock the production of the film - it's obvious that a lot of time and effort went into to. But what is the point of it? To get to know these girls? Can't I just read their blogs and learn about them, if I wanted to? And let's be honest, who is going to end up watching this?

Yeah, you're right, I probably will.

Okay, I think I've offended enough people for one post, byeeee.