5(ish) things...again.

1. KAAAAABLAMIE.

2a. Two words: clean eating. I just...I juuuussttt...I juuuusssstttt can't stand hearing about it. I expect it from blogs, and of course Pinterest, but now it's starting to junk up my Facebook feed. It's great that you prepared meals for the next two and a half years, but I don't need to see pictures of your boiled chicken. Consider your posts hidden.

2b. Ron Swanson gets it.


3. "So, you're a little bitch?" - Kelsey's dad, to me, 3 weeks ago...and I'm still laughing about it. I told him that my life motto is: Are you me? Then don't worry about it. I like to fly under the radar, and I hate when people ask too many questions about what's going on in my life. Let's be honest, if you haven't heard from me lately, it's because I'm trying to watch every episode of Parks and Rec before I leave for vacation in 10 days. I dream big.

4. I'm still sick. I spend 73% of my day with my head in my hands, thinking, "What was life like before this?" Dramatic, I know, but it's getting out of control. I'm exhausted because I cough all night, and I can't fall asleep. I can't take NyQuil. Or Tylenol PM. Or anything I could possibly become addicted to (again). So, I'm going to the doctor later.

5. Sometimes I joke that I'm a vegetarian by way of laziness. Meaning: I don't feel like making a proper dinner for myself, and therefore I eat green beans all the time. But the other night, I really wanted chicken (which is my meat of choice) (well, not all of the time) (wink face emoji), so I went to the store to buy one of those pre-cooked rotisserie chickens, and I burned my right index finger in the process. I don't know...the thing said, "Caution: Hot!" but of course I didn't read that until after. Now I have a burn that covers the better part of my finger, including my knuckle. And I ripped that part of the scab/burn open last night while trying to shut the window in my kitchen.

Basically what I'm saying is this: if this thing scars, I'll have a permanent reminder of what it's like to be an old 27, who is tragically alone, and who should stick to being a fake vegetarian.