Tuesday Strikes Again

Tuesdays, man...they really do hate me.

Yesterday morning I woke up knowing it was going to be a bad day. I could just feel it, you know? Every time Tuesday rolls around, I brace myself for the shit storm that is about to happen. It doesn't help that I was up past midnight on Monday, laughing by myself about every time I've seen someone fall, ever. I mean, hardcore, almost peed my pants, laughing. By myself, just thinking about my friends falling.

I was delirious.

I woke up and Nico was crying at my bedroom door (yes, I'm a terrible mother and lock my cats out of my room at night), which is not unlike him in the least. So, I opened the door, picked him up, held him like the baby he is, and said good morning. I went to put him down and he rested his paw on my face with a little too much force and scratched my upper lip the tiniest bit. It was not intentional, I know that. He has six toes on one front paw, and seven on the other. I mean, the guy has mittens, for fucks sake. But what I didn't know is that a tiny cut on your lip could bleed heavily for upwards of 45 minutes.

It's like when you cut your leg while shaving and it never stops bleeding, except this cut was on my face.

But that's not the best part...

I had a weekly department meeting first thing when I got to work, and my lip decided to start bleeding roughly 5 minutes before it started. When I went to grab a tissue from my desk, I saw the empty box and was quickly reminded that I was fresh out.

I stopped in the bathroom on the way to meeting, grabbed some toilet paper, and went on my way. Not even 30 seconds into the meeting I realized blood + toilet paper looks, well, disgusting.

But that's not the best part!

After the meeting I was given the task of finding a banner for an upcoming press conference. It seemed easy enough, except I had never seen the banner before and was only going off of what people could describe from their memory. So, a "bulky, mostly white, but with our logo" banner was what I was after.

I work in a big building. There are main three floors, plus a basement. My office takes up the second and third floors, along with a storage room in the basement. I started off there since it seemed like the logical place for the banner to be. Wrong. So I climbed 6 flights of stairs (there is an elevator, but I refuse to take it), headed back to my department and started asking around.

I asked one person who told me to ask another person who told me to ask another person who told me to ask yet another person, so on and so forth. I decided to do some digging on the computer and found a picture of the banner from the press conference last year. I printed it out and started walking up to people saying: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BANNER? Like it was missing child or something. Mind you, some of these people have only met me one other time, on my first day of work.

Nope. Not the best part.

At this point, there was a possibility that the banner had been thrown out, but I went to check the basement again, just in case.

Much to my surprise, I found it. Now, if you know me well enough, you know that I lose things (i.e.: my wallet) all of the time. But I didn't misplace the banner in the first place, which is why I was so surprised to have found it in the first place I looked. I have a theory about that, but I'm not going to say what it is.

But, that's not the best part.

I've been breaking in a new pair of flats, and if you've ever done this before, you know how difficult and painful it can be. So far, it hasn't been too bad. But once I got back to my desk after the half marathon I ran around the building, I had blisters all over the place.

But that's not the best part!

I got home from work around 10pm.

But THAT'S not the best part.

I stepped in cat puke as soon as I walked in the door.

BUT THAT'S NOT THE BEST PART.

I went to my bedroom, changed into sweats (which feel even better when you're putting them on at 10pm instead of my usual 6pm), went back out into the living room to clean up the cat puke, washed my hands, opened the fridge to get a drink, and found leftover birthday cake on the top shelf.

And that's the best part.

Let's ignore the part when my lip started bleeding two bites into the cake.

Ciao, Tuesday.