I'm starting this one where the last one left off:
The jury deliberated. Freedom was granted. A friend joked I was a phoenix rising from the ash. I didn’t like who I had become and that needed to change. Music helped. So did travel.
I didn’t want to date anyone but I felt like I should anyway. Powered by alcohol and a Groupon, I signed up for a dating site. Then another one. Then another one after that. Why only be on one site when you can be on five?
More was not better. I deleted all of them.
I focused on myself while everyone around me started to settle down. Long term relationships turned into marriages turned into babies. Back to the apps. Years and (so much) money wasted on the idea that I could find him by swiping.
After deleting my profile off of the same site I tried so many times, I declared my behavior to be insane. I repeated the same action and expected different results. My heart and bank account had had enough.
My life is stable and good. It’s being able to spend my days as I please. It’s being able to be in bed by 8:30. To be able to listen to a podcast about murder while I cook myself dinner (that usually consists of some type of frozen vegetable and a starch). It’s being able to offer help and support to family. And friends.
My life is my own-- in a way I never thought possible when I wrote the original post.