About Me.

Hello and welcome! I'm Alissa, and if you can't tell from the above photos-- I'm 29, and I live in Upstate New York.

So, here's what you need to know about me: I'm kind of a nerd, and I'm not afraid to wear the glasses to prove it. I'm also very sarcastic, wildly inappropriate, and I'm known for making the most ridiculous typos-- especially during a rant on Twitter, or in an email laced with SHOUTY CAPS.

You might not know any of that about me if you met in real life, because I'm typically mute around new people. But once you get to know me, here's a list of things I love to talk about: the weather-- no, I'm kidding. Small talk is the worst.

Let's talk about what music you listen to, or the last person you went out on a date with and if it went well or not. Will you tell me what keeps you up at night, or how you found your dream job? These are the types of things I'm most interested in.

But don't be afraid to ask me what I think about the cast of Vanderpump Rules, because no matter what I do, I can't quit Bravo TV completely.

I found a quote on Tumblr a while back that I think sums me up quite well. It read: "I am fucking insane, but my intentions are gold and my heart is pure." So, if you take nothing else away from this page, just remember that.